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My Thoughts

Why Most Communication Training Misses the Point (And What Actually Works)

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I was sitting in yet another corporate communication workshop last month—you know the type, where they teach you to "actively listen" by maintaining eye contact and nodding at appropriate intervals—when the facilitator asked us to practice "I statements." The bloke next to me, a manager from logistics, turned to his partner and said with complete sincerity: "I feel that you are wrong about everything."

That's when it hit me. We're teaching people the mechanics of communication without teaching them how to actually connect.

After seventeen years of running communication training sessions across Melbourne, Sydney, and Perth, I've seen every flavour of corporate speak imaginable. The sanitised, politically correct approach that most trainers peddle isn't just ineffective—it's actively harmful. It creates workplace robots who sound like they're reading from a customer service script.

The Fundamental Problem with Modern Communication Training

Most communication courses focus on technique rather than authenticity. They'll spend three hours teaching you the difference between open and closed questions, but won't spend five minutes helping you understand why people actually want to talk to you in the first place.

Here's what I've observed: the most effective communicators I know break half the rules these courses teach. They interrupt sometimes. They disagree openly. They show genuine emotion. They're human.

Take Sarah from a manufacturing company in Adelaide I worked with last year. Before our training, she was the queen of corporate speak—always "touching base" and "circling back" and asking if she could "pick your brain." Her team found her robotic and distant. After we worked together, she started saying things like "I stuffed that up" and "What do you reckon?" Her engagement scores went up 40%.

The problem is that traditional communication training treats conversation like a tennis match—structured, predictable, with clear rules. But real workplace communication is more like a kitchen during the dinner rush. Chaotic, emotional, and requiring genuine teamwork to avoid disaster.

What Actually Drives Effective Communication

Vulnerability beats perfection every time. I know that sounds like something from a self-help book, but hear me out.

When I first started training, I tried to be the expert who had all the answers. I'd stand at the front of the room spouting theories about active listening and conflict resolution. People would nod politely and forget everything by lunch.

Then one day in Brisbane, I completely cocked up a role-play demonstration. Instead of smoothly recovering, I just stood there and said, "Well, that was embarrassing. Anyone got ideas on how I could've handled that better?" The energy in the room completely shifted. Suddenly everyone was engaged, offering suggestions, sharing their own stories.

That's when I realised: people don't want to learn from someone who's perfect. They want to learn from someone who's real.

The Australian Factor

Australians have a particular challenge with communication training because most programs are designed for American corporate culture. We're naturally more direct, less formal, and significantly more sceptical of corporate jargon.

I've watched American-designed training programs fail spectacularly in Australian workplaces. Telling an Aussie tradie to use "I statements" when discussing safety issues is like asking them to wear a tuxedo to a barbecue. It's technically correct but completely wrong for the context.

The best communication training I've delivered acknowledges our cultural context. Yes, we can be more diplomatic in our feedback. No, we don't need to sound like corporate robots to be professional.

The Power of Practical Application

Here's where most training falls apart: the role-plays are too clean. In real workplaces, you're not having carefully scripted conversations in quiet meeting rooms. You're trying to resolve conflicts while walking between buildings, dealing with difficult customers when you're already running late, or giving feedback during the chaos of a busy shift.

I remember working with a team at a logistics company where the manager insisted their communication issues could be solved with better email protocols. After observing them for a day, I realised the problem wasn't email—it was that they were trying to solve complex operational issues through written messages instead of actually talking to each other.

We threw out the email training and spent the time teaching them how to have effective 30-second conversations in the warehouse. Their efficiency improved within a week.

The Emotional Intelligence Myth

Everyone talks about emotional intelligence like it's the holy grail of workplace communication. And yes, understanding emotions matters. But I've seen too many people use "emotional intelligence" as an excuse to avoid having difficult conversations.

"I'm being emotionally intelligent by not addressing this issue because I sense the timing isn't right."

Bollocks. Sometimes the timing will never be right, and the emotionally intelligent thing to do is to acknowledge that upfront and have the conversation anyway.

Emotional intelligence training works best when it focuses on courage rather than caution. Teaching people to recognise emotions is only half the job—you also need to teach them what to do with that information.

The Technology Trap

I love a good productivity app as much as the next person, but technology can't solve communication problems that are fundamentally human. I've worked with teams who had every collaboration tool imaginable but still couldn't have an effective meeting.

The issue isn't the platform—it's that we've forgotten how to disagree productively. We've become so focused on avoiding conflict that we've lost the ability to engage in healthy debate.

During a recent workshop with a tech startup in Sydney, I asked the team to spend 20 minutes discussing a contentious issue without using any digital tools. Just chairs in a circle and actual conversation. It was the most productive meeting they'd had in months.

What Works: Real-World Communication Strategies

After years of trial and error, here's what actually moves the needle:

Practice with real scenarios. Forget the generic role-plays. Use actual situations from your workplace. Yes, it's messier and more uncomfortable, but that's exactly why it works.

Focus on intent, not just impact. The classic training advice is to focus on impact over intent. "I know you didn't mean to upset me, but..." While impact matters, completely ignoring intent creates more problems than it solves. Sometimes people genuinely don't realise how they're coming across, and acknowledging their positive intent can open up the conversation.

Teach people to recover from mistakes. Every communication training I've ever seen teaches you how to communicate perfectly. None of them teach you what to do when you inevitably stuff it up. This is backwards. Recovery skills are more valuable than perfection.

Address the elephant directly. Australians respect directness, even when it's uncomfortable. I've seen teams transform when someone finally says, "Look, we all know Johnson is difficult to work with. How do we deal with that?" instead of dancing around the issue for months.

The Listening Trap

Active listening gets talked about constantly in communication training, and it's important. But I've noticed something: the people who are naturally good at listening rarely think about "active listening techniques." They're genuinely interested in what the other person has to say.

You can teach someone to maintain eye contact and ask follow-up questions, but you can't train genuine curiosity. That comes from helping people understand why their colleagues' perspectives actually matter to their own success.

Beyond the Workshop

The biggest challenge with communication training isn't what happens in the workshop—it's what happens when people go back to their regular environment. If the culture doesn't support the behaviours you're trying to develop, the training won't stick.

I worked with a manufacturing company where the production manager would publicly humiliate people for mistakes during shift meetings. We could do all the assertiveness training in the world, but until that manager changed his approach, nothing else would matter.

This is why I always insist on speaking with leadership before designing any communication program. If they're not willing to model the behaviours they want to see, we're wasting everyone's time.

The Path Forward

Real communication improvement happens gradually, through practice and feedback, not through weekend workshops and laminated tip cards. The organisations that get the best results treat communication skill development like physical fitness—something that requires ongoing attention, not a one-time fix.

The most effective approach I've found is intensive short sessions spread over time, with real workplace application between sessions. Give people one specific technique to try for a week, then come back and discuss what worked and what didn't.

And for the love of all that's holy, can we please stop teaching people to end emails with "Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions"? We're better than that.

The goal isn't to turn everyone into polished public speakers or master negotiators. It's to help people have the conversations they need to have, in a way that feels authentic to who they are, so they can actually get things done.

That's communication training that actually works.